Smiles

Lilli started smiling at around 4 weeks of age. Such a big beautiful smile. Her whole face smiles. Her cries have started to change. She's already capable of expressing different emotions and needs.

Lilli has a black and white baby gym which she loves. It keeps her entertained and very happy. It allows us a little bit of freedom since she's been in our arms since she was born. Jon and I have spent hours shhing, rocking and swinging to help her sleep. We're attempting to mimic the security of the womb.

We've thought about implementing a routine, but that seems miles away. Right now our days and nights are very chaotic, very erratic, but so wonderful. There are times when I look at Lilli and I cry with happiness and wonder. Jon had a harder time giving up his freedom. There are days when I also feel completely overwhelmed, wishing I could hike in the mountains, create craftsy projects, practice yoga, have dinner together. Even just remembering to say "Hi" to Jon and "did you have a good day" when he gets home, rather than throwing Lilli at him when he’s exhausted from work would be good. But I guess that’s the way it goes. Wonderful highs and rock bottom lows. My feelings towards Jon, after the birth and after that first month have grown so much. I didn’t think that was possible. He’s an amazing and wonderful person. He's given me so much support through these first few months. My attraction to him, my love for him has deepened so much. Lilli is lucky to have such a wonderful father.