First Steps

Lilli took her first lurching steps on Monday. 3 unsteady little steps between me and the couch. Last week she did take a couple of steps at the beach with my hands around her middle. Though the only support my hands were providing was a false sense of security, I'm not sure whether those wobbly paces really count. However Monday's steps were ones she should be proud of! We're waiting for her to repeat them and expand on them, but she's focusing instead on standing alone. Yesterday she looked so happy with herself when she realized she was standing without support. Her excited arm flapping quickly brought her down to the floor with a bump.

Arriving with this blossoming skill is anxiety. Loud noises spook Lilli. Truck and bikes roaring past, dogs barking, Jon sneezing, buzzing lawn mowers, grumbling helicopters. Quieter noises will prompt Lilli to sit by me and grasp my leg. A loud noise will bring a panicked look to her face and she'll rapidly crawl into my arms and press herself into me demanding a tight cuddle. No longer can she eat in the dinning area. Something outside the window is terrifying. Lilli now eats in the kitchen or with the shades drawn. Her anxiety is even seeping into her night time sleep. Two nights this week she has awoken screaming and will not settle for hours. Last night I camped on the floor by her crib. Every 5 to 10 minutes she would reassure herself I was still there. The pressure of my hand on her back was not quite enough. I had to speak. She had finally settled by 1.30am, which was a vast improvement from Monday night when she was agitated until 3am.

But perhaps it's her rapidly developing communication skills that are provoking these restless nights. Yesterday Lilli perfectly answered a simple question. She pointed to my glass of water and insisted "dat dat dat." To which I asked, "Lilli want water?". Lilli responded with a firm nod and "esss." It felt like our first true conversation. Her current favourite word is up. As we climb the stairs she repeats like a mantra "up up up up." Her repertoire of sign language is increasing quickly. She signs more, all done, food, drink, milk, fish, car and airplane. There are a few more signs which she's invented and I have yet to translate!